Even the Fire Couldn’t Touch Me

“Its giving “you thought you had me?”

🎧 Mood while reading: “Trust My Lonely” by Alessia Cara

Because I’d rather be alone in my power than held by someone who doesn’t know what to do with it.

He came in like a spark.

Not loud. Not forceful. But something in his energy made me pause. You know those moments where the world doesn’t freeze, but you do? That’s what it felt like. Eye contact that lingered. A magnetism I couldn’t shake. I didn’t even know him yet I felt him.

We hadn’t even spoken, but the energy was undeniable. And when we finally did, it unfolded fast like the universe had been waiting for it too.

There was passion. Fire. The kind that made you feel alive again. The kind that makes you forget the rules you swore you’d follow. The way he looked at me, the way he touched me… it was like he saw me. And maybe for a moment, he did.

But that’s the thing about fire it doesn’t always keep you warm. Sometimes it just burns bright and disappears, leaving you holding the heat by yourself.

The Setup: A Spiritual Test

That night, I took myself out to dinner not for romance, not for show, just because I was feeling lonely and wanted to feel something.

And I almost folded.

I started reaching out to old energy. Familiar names. Cycles I had already closed. It was like the universe was asking me,
“Are you sure you’re done repeating patterns?”

Then I heard it music playing across the street. A voice that pulled me in like a divine redirect. And that’s where I met him:
Aries.

And honestly? He couldn’t have been anything else.

Bold. Intense. Fast moving. Hot one moment, gone the next.
Aries was pure fire and for a moment, I mistook that fire for fate.

A man I didn’t plan to meet.
A moment I didn’t expect.
A temptation wrapped in flirtation.

And in that moment, I chose new.
Not perfect. Not forever. Just… new.

What I didn’t know then was that the night wasn’t a detour. It was a test.
And even though it didn’t turn into anything real it helped me realize something even deeper:

I wasn’t looking for passion.
I am the passion.

Real Talk:

He ghosted. No warning. Just silence where all that fire used to be.

And for a second, I spiraled. Not because I wanted him. But because I thought the connection meant something.

But now I know better.

He didn’t awaken something in me he just reflected what was already there.

I am the fire.
I am the energy.
I am the one I was waiting for.

He thought he was trouble. And maybe he was. But baby, I’ve danced with darker energy than his. And this time? I didn’t abandon myself to chase a connection that couldn’t meet me where I already stood.

The old me would’ve chased clarity.
The healed me chose peace.

I’m not bitter. I’m not broken.
I’m just done making room for people who can’t hold my energy.

So if you’ve ever questioned your worth because someone couldn’t show up read this again. It’s not about them. It never was.

You are the flame.
And even the fire can’t touch a woman who’s rooted in her worth.

Journal Prompt:

When was the last time you chose peace over being chosen?
How did it feel in your body?

P.S.

If you’ve ever felt like your soul was louder than your body…
If you’ve ever lost yourself in someone who couldn’t hold your fire…
If you’ve ever mistaken passion for purpose—

You’re not alone.
And you’re not crazy for wanting something deeper.

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Where we talk desire, divinity, energy, and letting go of the ones who weren’t ready for women like us.