Intimacy With My Equals Scared Me—Until It Didn’t

A blog for the woman who used to shrink around power, but now stands in her own.

Let’s be real deep down, many of us have chosen people who weren’t ready. Who didn’t see us fully. Who couldn’t meet us emotionally, energetically, or spiritually.

And we called it love. But it was survival. Familiarity. Safety in control.

Because truthfully? It’s easier to be the strong one. The healer. The one who “knows better.”

It’s safer to guide than to receive. To stay above the dynamic instead of letting yourself be met.

But when I started healing… when I started truly seeing myself… I realized intimacy with someone on my level scared me more than anything else.

Here’s what intimacy with your equals will challenge:

• Your need to be in control
• Your fear of being seen when you’re not “strong”
• Your tendency to perform or please
• Your belief that love has to be earned

Because real intimacy? Doesn’t let you hide.

It mirrors your softness and your shadows. It asks for presence, not performance. It holds space, not stories.

And for someone who’s spent a lifetime being the “healed one” or the “fixer,” being met with emotional maturity can feel confronting as hell.

But it’s also where liberation lives.

Now let me be real—reflection time.

There was a connection that cracked something open in me. It wasn’t about the titles or the chemistry. It was how safe I felt being fully me.

It was how they saw the parts of me I usually hide and didn’t flinch. It was how I didn’t have to teach, lead, or explain. I could just be.

And that scared the hell out of me. Because I realized… If I don’t have to earn love do I even know how to receive it?

Turns out I do. I just had to stop confusing chaos with connection. That part. Because if you know chaos like to disguise itself in beautiful ways. Sometimes we even fall for it without knowing.

Journal Prompt:
Where have I been choosing comfort over connection?
Am I truly ready to be seen by someone who gets it?

True intimacy doesn’t come from being needed. It comes from being known.

And when you stop running from your own reflection you’ll finally attract someone who sees your soul, not just your strength.

Want to dive deeper into your relationship patterns?
Download the Energy Guide for Dating With Discernment.

Be seen, fully at DavinaLiving.com